2020-03-03

When contact becomes unnecessary

    The Stoning of Stephen
I've reached this point where all I care to do anymore when returning from work is take an afternoon nap then vege out in front of the teevee for a number of hours and pursue a bite of supper and perhaps putz around on the computer a smidge then retire for the evening.

I'm sure this has others in my midst somewhat miffed when they compare this behavior to the old me ... the consumate social butterfly flitting around hither thither and yon ...

Friendly with everyone. My tendencies toward those socius inclinations having ebbed a long while back. I used to feel obligated to make excuses but now I simply revel in the unsocial nature of it all and I don't let anyone bother me.

Sure, I could and probably should be the helpful twit I once was but it was all for naught then and now it's even more a shame to allow others to use me for their own ends when the only one who helps me anymore is my mother.

So when you can't raise me in the mail or on the phone or on any electronic media as well just remember: I'm out here practicing that inevitable avoidance that keeps me from going crazy so kindly just leave me alone. I tried the sociality eager to help stuff for a long time and all it got me was used.

All people could do is tell me what they might have done for me but didn't. I suppose I simply wasn't worthy enough for a hand when I really needed it.

So now, all I can do is quiesce and maintain this suboptimal existence lest I fall back into the fray and find my life is no longer mine once again.