Were I condemned ...
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I have on occasion considered what might transpire were I a condemned inmate.
All of this in the absence of real crime, the thoughts are primarily inspired by my interest in capital punishment in the US, the deathrow experience, victims rights, perpetrator contrition, and myriad other aspects as presented by various others in my midst from whom I glean tidbits of the experience ... though all secondhand and hearsay.
There is that lengthy appeals process. The possibility for periods of extreme isolation (not that this would really be a bother to me personally) as well as that culture only present in the prison system and it's unique perspective coupled with the ultimate reality of an impending death can imbue in the hearts of men.
Methodology being a foregone conclusion of 'lethal injection' not being something I could fear; the portends for other solutions to the problem of dispatching those sentenced to death have been in the forefront of criminal justice news these days, i.e., our intermittent inability to procure suitable concoctions for administration on a gurney might surrender to more violent ends like electrocution or firing squad. These things I most certainly could fear.
Then there is the question of my immortal soul. While my personal theology only reveals a single unpardonable sin; could I be "sorry" for some deed for which I ended up on death row in the first place.
While my initial thoughts appertaining to execution of inmates level off somewhere in the vicinity of "hell no" there is this other part of me which sometimes succumbs to apologetics and might be wanting some modicum of forgiveness.
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How about my family? Subjecting one's self to a judicial "disposal" is one thing. Making it the problem with which one's family must contend adds a twist that complicates matters much more ...
So the quandry remains.
At this juncture the entire concept of judicial execution is something with which I would not be inclined to wish upon anyone, myself included.
However, I remain decidedly "pro death penalty" for whatever level of deterrence it may provide and these feelings within me remain as well.
It would appear that I will probably forego capital offenses altogether as a matter of personal choice and avoid the entire process of having to write a check my life can't cover.