The Loss of Passion

2017-03-19

pas•sion (păshˈən)

A powerful emotion, such as love, joy, hatred, or anger, ardent love, strong sexual desire; lust

Ah passion. That great mover of people throughout the ages. Even I was once passionate with a fervor rivaling anything upon the Earth ... only to grow old and lose it all to some jaded evolutionary process whereby all things became cliche and interest wained long past it's prime ... like some over ripe fig hanging ripped upon the tree.

Early on I was the great challenger of the oppressor — truly a legend in my own mind. That sass and agent provocateur that was me would get on anyone's case for any transgression slowly diminished into the ignorer I am these days, interested only in working, eating, and sleeping.

You could tell a lot about me by that music to which I listened. Early on it was the top 40 am drivel which turned to rock and roll Styx, REO Speedwagon, ELP, and Joan Armatrading in the Navy through my progressive days of Renaissance and Jimmie Spheeris to the now which primarily consists of a lot of ambient and esoteric stuff few listen to aside from myself. My substitute for that confrontational nonsense is a bit of cutting up with co workers and belting out a brief tune now and then as I grasp feebly for some tidbit of that essence which was me so long ago.

However, I do take solace in the the quietude and vegging out before the teevee with the occasional socialization thrust upon me by the various others in my midst ... the ladies taking precedence but even some of those are disturbing at this late juncture.

I have substituted being on the road from sun up to late night with the occasional attempt at yard work and putzing around on various personal projects at the keyboard of my workstation. I still lament the loss of my hair, the fatness of my body and that general lack of shape I used to take great pains to cultivate.

However, that impetuous youth has been replaced by a certain wisdom which results from being resilient over the years and remaining here when so many of my people have departed.

I miss them all too. Pretty much I strive for the kinder, gentler Dave seldom known in past iterations.