Stalking the elusive Bushy Tailed Tree Rat

2021-07-02

Stalking the elusive Bushy Tailed Tree Rat

Now I'm not one to persecute woodland creatures. My plumber, Ed, called me down on that about 20 years ago and it did give me pause. I just try to differentiate between a woodland creature and vermin. I would say that I have issues with other people regarding the status of rodents in my life. However, I think more accurately the other people have issues with me.

Yes, I think of a squirrel as vermin. As such, I do not value it's life at all. I have had neighbors come into my yard and tell me not to trap them that they have as much a "right" to be there as me.

Well, I hate to differ but I don't consider rodents (along with a great many other animals) to be food animals and as such if they get into my truck engine and chew the wires and nest in my attic I'm afraid it's simply going to be capital punishment for the entire cohort and I don't really care who doesn't like it.

I even offer to give my complaining neighbors those captured squirrels if they wanted them. They didn't want them but they didn't want me to exterminate them either so I told the neighbors to put up or shut up and leave. Yes, I have no issues with being assertive, either.

Well, this leaves me in the fairly untenable situation of being faced with a wild animal that thinks I need to give it shelter and allow it to eat my bird food and let the bleeding heart neighbors get in my face and whine about my desire to dispatch them posthaste.

So now I intend to get the squirrelnator, a trap designed to catch animals in mass and comes with a basin so that you can drown them conveniently. Oh, the shame of it all. I want to persecute God's woodland creatures because they invade my living space.

Yes, I realize that it sounds pretty cut throat but you can come over and catch the rats and take them home and love and nurture them all you like. I'm going to kill the little buggers and eliminate them from my property. I hate to be so cold but they are simply vermin to me. Much like all those democrats and leftist libtards in the political sphere of my life.