She waved at me today
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People don't always get the solitude others may lead as a lifestyle. I'm not antisocial or anything. Just decidedly unsocial.
This is primarily due to quite a few bad choices in the past and the repetitive nature of others calling me to my fence looking for a "room mate".
Standing there holding two toddlers with another three all about your feet is really not conducive to the cultivation of a live in relationship. It's certainly not that I don't like kids.
My issues surround the predisposition of all too many others who want to have their children with one or more other men then decide I need to be the one to raise them ... all.
It's simply not practical to immerse one's self into a never ending barrage of dirty diapers, stacks of dishes, snotty noses, whining, crying, screaming, demanding, and inevitable accidents as well as other socially awkward moments a child may place upon you unless you are half of the contributing genetics ... or REALLY into it. And I'm not.
Perhaps 40 years ago. Selfish ? Maybe. I just want to be responsible for those things for which I am actually responsible.
So a girl at work waved at me today. A little blonde girl. In a fleeting moment all my hopes and dreams came crashing down and I got on with the work at hand. I often jokingly admonish people to "work on that mind reading". Today it might have proven somewhat embarassing.