Pulling the Rug from beneath Somebody's Life
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I wasn't so lucky in that regard. Those pangs of guilt still hit me from time to time. The underlying cause of my transgression feels no pain about it at all, however. This is because he is without conscience.
This would make him a psychopath in my opinion. The fact that he is stupid and without character or redeeming qualities is neither here nor there. The fact that I was so stupid to entrust him with importance in my life is an astounding shortcoming on my part — and one my late father could not fathom a single iota.
Poor choices can make you subject to the whims of others who do not have anything except their own profiteering at heart. Their inabilities and exaggerations in conjuction with the continual circular logic simply prolong the inevitable.
So I cut ties with them. I stopped the project they had interrupted so much that it was ruined. I withdrew to that nether region called not keeping your word. It has been a life of shame for me ever since.
Since that day that the bell tolled for me. All those punishments that others have attempted to lay upon me remain. Those falsehoods designed to mould the situation further than what it really was were a formidable fray for many years.
But I weathered it all and attempted to grow.
And now I have fewer friends. Now I trust far fewer people. Those companies I formerly enjoyed for hours on end do not enter my picture anymore because they are unwelcome due to those colors they first displayed then splashed all over me.
In the end that reputation those I hurt sought to ruin withstood the onslaught. The person that I am rose above the base innuendo and fabrications. What I did was bad enough. The way it was characterized made it appear even more morbid than it ever was.
Sometimes while collecting my thoughts at the end of the day I recall that darkest time in my existence. Have I forgiven anyone? Not hardly. Not even myself. Will I ever forget? Unlikely. The stuff of errors of judgement adhere to the heart like so much JB Weld. That stuff never lets go. I probably won't either.