2024-12-22

National Short Person Day 2024

    short and tall
Today is National Short Person Day. It is a time to celebrate our more diminuative fellows and try to have a little fun in the process. The short people in your life have an advantage from a standpoint of general accessibility and even get carded much more frequently. I remember when I used to get carded at bars. It used to infuriate me. Nowadays it's an honor and a distinct pleasure that some one would even think I need to present identification for any manner of age verification.

"Short People" is song by Randy Newman from his 1977 album, Little Criminals. It was vastly overplayed during it's run because people try to be as stupid, "trendy", and faddish as possible at times. I had a former friend who was both redhead and had about the most bodacious set of ta ta's imaginable who was all about pop culture who thought this song was "the best" — and I hope I never see her again. Though it is said to present satire regarding prejudice all I can say is I hate the song and Randy Newman ... I don't know; he just never impressed me in my entire life.

Being short is relative to your culture. There are entire nations with short people. If you are 5 foot 7 and most everyone else in your environment is 5 foot 2 then you are not "really" short at all. I am about average. I am 6 foot or so and exist as this raging bald maniac with a white beard. I have been mistaken for Santa Claus in recent history.

So if you're short this day is for you. Now get out there and flaunt your stuff shorty !

Happy National Short Person Day.