National PTSD Awareness Day 2019
I have PTSD. It is the result of what has been a traumatic life. It is not due to any parental abuse nor close in conflicts with familiars.Posttraumatic Stress Disorder is considered a psychiatric disorder that can happen in we who have experienced traumatic events.
My personal issues revolve in a continuous personal assault as the result of always being the fat new kid.
|
I have flashbacks and nightmares, a pervading feeling of sadness, fear and anger and exhibit a lot of detachment and estrangement from others as a result.
I cannot stand to be touched. I have learned to contain this aversion in the presence of polite company ... but if others knew just how much it affects me they would back off.
I do not just "go off" on people like some others with PTSD. I make attempts to contain my feelings until that time they may be vented in the absence of others.
There are episodic negative reactions to what might seem innocuous to other people but they trigger memories of moments I try hard to forget but will never do so. One thing about it, the grown man that I have become has been influenced by a lot that is bad and others who claimed to be my friend but were not.
My memories though persistent do not rule me because I decline to allow them to do so. Control of my feelings requires an iron fist approach often times in the solitude of my existence.
When I'm alone collecting my thoughts in preparation for the next day when I will go through the drill all over again.