I used to like poetry ...
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I liked to think that people constantly change ... but some don't. I prefer to think good things of those in my midst but sometimes those thoughts turn pretty morbid when I realize that person I so idolized in my younger years is nothing but a sociopath user who has hurt a string of people badly in his self-serving wake ... or the moron so-called 'professional' golfer who hasn't ever won a prize playing golf was a "nice person" when he's really just the total scumbag and has been the entire 40 years I've know him. What's more, his stupid son is even worse having followed that poor example his entire life.
I suppose it's a part of realization. Knowing who your friends are, who your friends aren't, and understanding that what you thought wasn't reality as much as you may have wanted it to be so ...
A personal quest to avoid becoming some individual who pretends to have virtues, morals or religious beliefs and principles, etc., which really aren't there -- and in particular exhibiting actions that belie some fictional set of "stated" beliefs -- which which likewise are fictitious -- has been one of my evolutionary goals. While I think I've achieved that by and large I realize that there's always room for improvement and endeavor just to be the best person I can be.
I used to like poetry. I used to write meaningless tones representing ideas of lofty intent which crashed to the ground. Now I'm not so much a fan. Now I don't write poetry anymore. It's a facet of who I am based on what I've experienced over the years. I don't see life and others through the fantasy of innocence which once was mine. Now I understand a lot more of what is real. I only wish some of it weren't ...
Sometimes I look back on that young foolish imbecile which was me and yearn to tease out the innocence lost among the faces who smile at you attached to hands which stab you in the back. It's no use, however -- for in the grand scheme of things we are meant to learn over time.
That which we did not understand eventually gains crystal clarity with enough experience. At least I can have the satisfaction of trying to become a person I can respect; though I also must suffer the realization that early on I wasn't even close. I don't necessarily think this a bad thing either. I would much rather know my friends, enemies and myself and gaze upon that which I have become without those regrets I might otherwise feel. That path to manhood simply wasn't a walk in the park for me like it is for some people. Guess I took the scenic route.