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I used to work with a guy who was my peer but not at my technical level. Early in the decade I had resigned my position at the place where we both worked … and was engaged in other pursuits which happened to float my boat. As things happen I had thought he and I would get together and have a spot of lunch and converse as we had done so often while we were cohorts at work. I had never mentioned any notion of ever returning to the place in any way, shape, or form. I pulled into the parking lot at the agreed upon time and place — several minutes early because I didn’t want him to have to wait on me. Half an hour later he shows up 25 minutes late and claiming to have been unable to get away … though he had never had any such pressing business ever in the years we worked together. So we go to a local establishment and have a spot of lunch and chit chat about various things — then set out to return. As I was pulling into the parking lot to let him out he appeared to go into a seizure with this flailing of arms and head rapidly shaking to the left and right — and it was a scary appearance until I realized he was quite angry. It appears that he was under some misguided impression that I was supposed to come back to work so that everything would be as it was prior to my departure. It also appeared as though he thought he could chastise me at his whim and that it would matter. I’m afraid that returning simply had never been possible and his foolish outburst was purely amusing … though I did well not to bust out laughing in his face at his antics. His ‘psychotic episode’ (sic) was extremely disturbing at a level … and a little scary in that I thought I was going to have to throttle him. I didn’t understand the nature of the outburst nor did I even care to explore the wherefore or the why. It never occurred to me that there was some ulterior motive to lunch that day and really and truly the job was never anything to me other than a job and I didn’t ever want to work there again for any reason. I just didn’t think it would be a problem between us. Boy was I incorrect in that notion. These are some of the the risks one assumes when we fail to meet the expectations of others. I didn’t conform to his wishes and he wanted to exert … apparently what he thought would be “influence”. However, it’s all for naught when you assume that your needs are congruent with those of another. It’s a shame too. Though I thought we were such good friends in retrospect it appears that my only role was that of his “built in relief”. |
Archive for the ‘People’ Category
The Day My Friend Went Psycho on Me
Friday, September 3rd, 2010Lesbians I have known …
Wednesday, September 1st, 2010
Over the years I’ve known my fair share of lesbians.
Call it a function of that wide circle on which I once made the rounds through frequently. Nowadays my card is comparatively empty and exceedingly more straight laced … if you will.
I used to go to a little dyke bar called ‘The Fortress’ on Two Notch Road and play pool with a cigar smoking tee shirt and blue jeans wearing blonde butch bruiser named ‘Cooter’. She won every game, too.
I think it was because she intimidated me, being quite a bit more physically formidable in appearance than I. She was friendly and funny and I enjoyed her company immensely … plus I was one of only two dudes in the joint. Eldon and I laughed and carried on into the wee hours of the morning on each visit.
Then there was my good friend Shirley who was simply one of the nicest people you’ll ever know in your life. She was artistically talented, manufacturing her own inspection sticker (back when autos here had to have one) that was a ‘dead ringer’ at a distance. She was personable and regular to a tee.
There was the other end of the spectrum as well. The game playing Margaret who had two daughters and lived on Bagnal in a fantasy world where nothing was entirely as it seemed.
The performers are my favorites however. Today, the charming, beautiful, and quite gay Lily Tomlin is having a birthday. She has dominated that sphere of my existence known as entertainment from time to time because not only is she hilarious … but a master thespian who portrays dramatic roles with presence and projection … as though they aren’t going to make any more.
Lily Tomlin
September 1, 1939
aka Mary Jean Tomlin
aka Ernestine
aka Edith Ann
aka Tasteful Lady
aka Susie the Sorority Girl
aka Tommy Velour and Rick
aka Pervis Hawkins
aka Dr. Selma Dritz
American actress, comedian, writer and producer. To each of these roles she brings exceptional talent and has won multiple awards from many genres, including Tonys, Emmy, a Grammy — not to mention nomination for an Oscar.
She is one of my favorite actresses, comediennes, and of course lesbians I have known.
Happy Birthday to You !
Another National Civility Month is Done
Tuesday, August 31st, 2010
I’d like to take this moment and note the rapidly passing recurrence of National Civility Month and play true confessions with the fact that my civility has taken a trouncing this year.
Don’t get me wrong, I certainly claim to be ever-scrappy and oh so willing and able to go into confrontational mode at the drop of a hat … but do so at the expense of that kinder, gentler Dave I also try to cultivate.
So although that profane aspect I don’t share with many raises it’s ugly head in the midst of my formal or perfunctory politeness the sad fact is that my tolerance took a beating at the hands of the likes of Adobe, various idiot drivers I encounter, the lying, cheating, thief, crook, tyrant Fred … and of course that ever-present dullard in my disdain, Susan.
Hopefully, I will do better over the coming months and attain that lofty nirvana known as a “courteous manner” that respects accepted social usage and cease being that slug who has to mindlessly swear merely as a valve from which that excess hot air contained within his carcass may escape.
So excuse me whilst I loose that impending flatulence called frustration and endeavor to be better — something oh so much more superior in quality, condition, and effect … tomorrow.
International Day of the Disappeared
Monday, August 30th, 2010Today is the International Day of the Disappeared which is an annual observance marking the unknown fate of individuals who are incarcerated in various places under poor conditions without notification of relatives, significant others, and/or legal representatives. It is an injustice of anxiety and a matrix of suffering by those involved.
Impetus for this commemoration originally came from the Latin American Federation of Associations for Relatives of Detained-Disappeared (Federación Latinoamericana de Asociaciones de Familiares de Detenidos-Desaparecidos, or FEDEFAM).
It seems there is a lot of secret imprisonment in Latin America.
This outreach extends to the international human rights organizations such as Amnesty International, The Office of the UN High Commissioner for Human Rights, and the International Committee of the Red Cross.
Clandestine imprisonment carries with it violation of human rights and humanitarian law and it is estimated that there are about 30 countries who practice this cowardly suppression and punishment of individuals.
We as the people of the world should oppose the immoral imposition of imprisonment upon those who are held for purely political and derelict reasons. The portends for survival are bleak in entirely too many of these circumstances. How many who are detained and imprisoned end up in graves anonymously never to be heard from again?
How we treat each other is an indication of the evolution of both mankind and our humanity.
Support the International Convention for the Protection of All Persons from Enforced Disappearance.
Matter of Time
There was a time
Had no need for rhythm or rhyme
The world seemed so wild and so free
Just wrap yourself up in a dream
All you had to do was believe
And nothing was out of your reach
So sure how it all falls in line
It’s just a matter of time
It’s just a matter of timeThen you wake up one day
All your dreams some how faded away
The road that you follow returns
Can’t find where the fire once burned
Can’t look yourself straight in the eyes
In the heart of our truth compromise
Baby one day we all cross that line
It’s just a matter of time
It’s just a matter of timeAll alone in this middle of the night
You come face to face with your fight
And how much you wanted it all
Can’t believe how your taking the fall
Then you reach out one day
To the light of a new dawning day
You take just one small grain of sand
Right into the palm of your hand
And maybe you’ll find in the end
You’re able to dream once again
And baby you’ll fall back in line
It’s just a matter of time
It’s just a matter of timeIt’s just a matter of time
It’s just a matter of time
Just a matter of timeJohn Cafferty
The Legacy of Katrina
Sunday, August 29th, 2010
Hurricane Katrina devastated much of the U.S. Gulf Coast from Louisiana to the Florida Panhandle.
The storm killed in excess of 1,836 citizens and caused over 80 billion dollars in damage.
Disaster preparedness was inadequate.
Both local and federal response were incompetent.
Too many suffered.
Too many more died.
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The consequences of this sorry episode in the history of the United States continue. We could have and should have done better for those who followed the instructions of their local government and went to those appointed places to find nothing. What were we thinking? Whom did we entrust with the welfare of our citizens in this hour of profound desperation?
On this day please remember those innumerable stranded evacuees who suffered and watched their loved ones die on sidewalks and in wheelchairs at both the Superdome and Ernest N. Morial Convention Center and elsewhere.
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Remembering Nancy Kulp
Saturday, August 28th, 2010One of those television pillars of my childhood was The Beverly Hillbillies. I was enthralled with the antics of Jed, Granny, Jethro, Ellie Mae, Pearl Bodine, Mr. and Mrs. Drysdale, and of course, Miss Jane Hathaway — probably the single most significant supporting actress in the series.
“Miss Jane” was a Vassar graduate who appeared in 246 episodes. She was the loyal assistant to Mr. Drysdale and assumed all sorts of duties above and beyond those a normal secretarial type administrative assistant might encounter.
Frequently performing tirelessly without so much as a ‘thank you’ from the boss she tolerates with a good will well beyond that which he ever deserves, she is the consummate professional and handles anything and everything with tact and poise as well as the utmost in articulate presentation … for a sitcom.
Nancy Jane Kulp
August 28, 1921 – February 3, 1991
American Character Actress best known for her portrayal of Miss Jane Hathaway on the Beverly Hillbillies.
She was the only child of Robert and Marjorie Kulp born in Harrisburg, PA and a journalist by training.
She was a decorated Naval veteran attaining the rank of Lieutennant (Junior Grade) and left the service in 1946.
Toward the end of her life she intimated in a rather circuitous fashion that she was gay in a 1989 interview by Boze Hadley.
Gee … I might never had guessed !
Her sexuality certainly never having been an issue, the characters she portrayed endeared her to me early on and that fierce loyalty you only cultivate for beloved childhood people, places, and things has never left me to this day.
She was diagnosed with cancer in 1990 and suffered weakness as the result of chemotherapy. Her disease went metastatic and she died in Palm Desert, California. She is buried in Mifflintown, Pennsylvania.
A Child of Fourteen …
Saturday, August 28th, 2010I wasn’t aware of the circumstances surrounding the murder of Emmett Till until many years after it happened. At the time I was rapidly approaching five months of age. Of late I recall several PBS and other documentaries on the subject of his brutal end at the hands of various honky thugs in the town of Money, Mississippi and the subsequent funeral and trial …
I remember thinking about the horrible ending this child met at the hands of ruthless adults.
I remember his mother and that which she endured to attain a level of justice for her child; though it took years and the toll upon her was great.
It made me think of my mother and her same level of unending love for me.
Emmett Louis Till
July 25, 1941 – August 28, 1955
aka “Bobo”
African American boy from Chicago, Illinois, murdered at the age of 14 in the delta region town of Money, Mississippi allegedly as the result of a wolf whistle made toward a white woman, one Mrs. Carolyn Bryant at a small grocery store where he and his cousins had bought some candy. Mrs. Bryant was the wife of the store owner, Roy Bryant.
Mr. Bryant enacted a terrible exaggerated revenge with an accomplice resulting in the vicious torture and murder of this child. The punishment was far greater than the intent — which wasn’t even a crime on the books. It was a perception of “place” in the pecking order of that particular locale.
The thing about the trial which offended me the most was the local law enforcement.
Sheriff H. Clarence Strider with his insulting flippant overlord attitude towards the legal proceedings and subsequent malevolent handling of the law whereby the 23 member all white all male jury acquitted both defendants in 67 minutes and laughed that had they not stopped for soft drinks the proceedings would have gone much quicker.
This was the nature of the law of the times and the place; being customized to the whim of a few rather than the resounding equalizer for the many as it should have been. This was not justice … and outrage of the masses became evident quickly and effectively.